The Long Good-bye, Part 5

Tension and transition.

I am learning to allow God to grow in me thankfulness and trust.

Bryan leaves next week to travel to the US for a two week stay. (This will be the longest stretch of alone time with the kids for me - ever!!) His main purpose in making this trip is to attend the Together for Togo conference that will be held in Dallas, TX- hosted by our sponsoring church Preston Road. It will be a great time to share what God has been doing in Togo through the Christians here. He will also reconnect with friends, former/future missionaries, supporters and his mom!

The other reason that he’s going back is to feel out job situations. (Yikes! I admit I’m nervous about this one, but not in a scared way just an excited, hoping for the best way.) We’ve got some ideas for ministry floating through our minds, but no one thing has stood out above the others. I am hoping that this trip will help Bryan to decide what he’d like to pursue.

Please pray with me for Bryan’s upcoming trip.

• For safety in travels.
• For effectiveness in communicating all that God has done and is doing through the Christians in Togo and in his life.
• For fun and meaningful times with loved ones.
• That he will be able to meet with mentors and that they will give him godly advice on his career.
• That Bryan will stay strong in the Lord and keep his eyes open to what God wants to teach/show him!

True Friendship

Becky Reeves has proven herself a good friend to me many times over.  She’s listened to my problems, given me three baby showers, and watched hours of Pride & Prejudice- the A&E mini-series- with me.  And that’s only a tiny bit of all that she’s done for me as a friend!

But, I must say, that this year for my birthday she took our friendship to a whole new level.

She bought me a Cabbage Patch Kid doll.

Becky didn’t just pick any CPK off the shelf.  Oh no!  She put a lot of thought into it. The doll has brown hair and hazel eyes- a genetic possibility of me and Bryan.  The doll is a girl.  As you know, I don’t have one of those yet. Even the name on the little birth certificate/adoption papers is one that I like…Ryann Iris.

Maybe her motivation was to get me to shut up after many years of commenting on how I always longed for one as a young girl yet never obtained the object of my affection.  (Do you remember the Cabbage Patch Kid craze?  I’ve heard stories of moms bribing store owners for a doll!)

But, I like to think that she knows me well enough to know that I would see the deeper meaning of giving me a CPK doll after all of these years.  That friends really do listen, that they care about unfulfilled (and sometimes silly, girlish) dreams, and that they are there to support you.  Thanks Becky for using a doll to speak a message of love to me!  I love you, friend.

By the way, next year I want a Strawberry Shortcake doll.

Here I am signing the adoption papers with Becky as my witness.

The proud mother.

What a friend!  Thanks, Bec!

They still smell like a mixture of baby powder and plastic….yum!

School Days

Today marks the completion of two weeks of school! (Yes, we go to school on Saturdays!) The days are getting easier as we fall into a steady routine. In the 4th grade, we’ve already finished a unit on South America & Simon Bolivar, El Liberator! Now, we are shifting our focus to North America in the mid-1800s- that includes the California Gold Rush, the Oregon Trail and tools that early Americans used on their homesteads. In Science, we are studying magnetism. (One of the many things I love about teaching is that I get to “relearn” all of the information along with the kids!) The art program has the kids really exciting about drawing. I’ll try to post some of their favorite works here sometime soon.

Graham and Owen are both doing well in their classes with Miss Emily and Ms. Becky, respectively. Graham is learning about birds in Science and of course practicing reading! Owen is learning about the body through fun preschool projects like finger-painting. It looks like this year if off to a great start!

Abby, Hannah and Isaac take time out from drawing to smile for the camera!

Abby and Hannah show off their cool magnet creations!

Let’s Talk About…

Sex as a topic is often mishandled. It’s avoided all together or talked about in a coded language. Or it’s joked about in silly and raunchy ways. Or it’s reduced to mere biology. Not too many of us can talk about sex in a God honoring fashion.

I passionately believe that we need to learn to talk about sex with our children, spouses, communities of faith and non-Christians in ways that edify each other and glorify God. We need to learn how to convey what sexual health means to God and how to avoid powerful sexual temptations.

A particularly compelling reason to start talking is the explosion of sexual addictions including pornography, serial extra-marital affairs and excessive masturbation which are running amok in our friends’ lives. I can testify that many friends and family members of mine have fallen victim to these ruthless sins. As a result, I’ve educated myself on these topics and overcome my own embarrassment at discussing sex with my young sons (at age appropriate levels) and with almost anyone who crosses my path.

One scripture that motivates me to talk about sex openly is John 3:20.

“For everyone who does wicked things hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his deeds should be exposed. But whoever does what is true comes to the light, so that it may be clearly seen that his deeds have been carried out in God.”

I love the imagery of coming into the light of God! He is the place that exposes our sins and heals us from our wounds.

Another one is Luke 4:18b.

“He has sent me to proclaim liberty to the captives and recovery of sight to the blind, to set at liberty those who are oppressed.”

Those of our loved ones that are held captive by sexual sins need to understand more deeply the freedom that Christ offers and how to live in his fullness.

This is an area of our lives where we do not need stay silent. (Too many other people are vying for our attentions and they have plenty to say in images and words.) In the family, I want my husband and I to be the ones who primarily shape our children’s understanding of God’s plan for sexual health. In the church, we need to talk openly about these issues and offer hope and help to the hurting. With our spouses, we need to have the compassion and insight to understand where the other is coming from sexually. There’s a lot to discuss about sex!! We need to seek wisdom from the scriptures and other godly resources, pray diligently and start talking!!

Happy Birthday Sis!

In honor of my sister’s special day, I pulled out some really old pictures of us! (Some of them are damaged, but it’s all that I have.) I have so many good memories with Jenny. The two of us shared a room our entire childhood and stayed up late every night talking. We still chat on via phone at least once a week! That’s a big deal considering we are calling across several times zones. She is one of the main reasons that I am excited to move back to the States next year!!! I love you, Sis!

Nature Club

The little boys on our team have formed The Nature Club. There are only two rules that you must follow in this club. 1) Be nice to nature. 2) Be nice to the other nature club members. It’s funny to overhear them talking about what rule one means exactly. “Can we cut a stick off that tree to use as a sword? Is that being nice to nature?”

We live in a great place for a nature club. We go on safaris and observe lion kills and elephant herds. We practically live on a farm - there are chickens, goats, ducks and sheep roaming free all over our town. There are waterfalls, mountains and hidden trails to explore nearby. The variety of insects and reptiles is amazing too! Yes, it’s a wonderful place for a nature club.

One unique animal that we have here is the Giant African Land Snail (Achatina marginata). These guys can grow shells between 15-17 cm long. Their bodies stick out another 12 cm. They are huge! I did a little bit of Internet research today and discovered that these mollusks are a hot item on the exotic pet market. However, in most countries they are illegal to import because they eat vegetation and reproduce like crazy. Think plague. (I can personally testify to that fact, my once abundant calla lilies are all dead thanks to them.)

In Togo, people eat them. I also did a little bit of in house research by asking Abla, my house-worker, how she prepares them. She said that you put the snails in boiling water for a few minutes to loosen them from their shells. Then, you take them out and rub them with vinegar or lemon juice until they are white. Next, you rub them with seasonings this includes, salt, ginger, garlic, black pepper and mixed spices. After that you fry them in hot oil, chop them up, add them to a tomato sauce and serve over rice. Yummy!

Well, my boys just like to play with them. Here are two pictures of the famous West African snails found in our very own backyard.

Brave Isaac is holding this one, Graham is taking the photo.

First Day of School

Today was our first day back to school! Isaac is now officially in the 4th grade, Graham is in 2nd grade and Owen is in preschool. (I feel old!) We took the classic pictures before we hopped in the truck this morning..then a few more at school. Now, that school’s back in session you can expect more blogging on this topic! Happy Learning!!!!

My little stairsteps….okay two little steps and then one big one.

Miss Emily, Graham’s 2nd grade teacher.

My class- Hannah, Isaac and Abby

Favorite Places

A few weeks ago, my dear friend Becky Reeves, tagged me to write about a few of my favorite places.  Since then, I’ve enjoyed revisiting some of these spots in my imagination. No doubt, I will not be able to convey how special these places are to me, but I hope to give you a glimpse into my personal havens.

• Nati’s Mexican Restaurant & OB pier - Ocean Beach, California- This restaurant has been a family favorite since my step-grandparents discovered it in the 1950’s.  The family has met at Nati’s for various celebrations- graduations, engagements, any excuse really.  Bryan, myself and the boys ate here several times a week when we were awaiting Owen’s birth.  After a delicious and inexpensive Mexican meal the tradition is to walk the pier while sharing a box of Hot Tamales candies.  We stroll along watching sea gulls, surfers and fishermen with the salty air blowing our hair.  It doesn’t feel like a visit “home” unless this experience is included.
• Yosemite National Park & Giant Sequoia National Park, California - This is another place from my childhood that I still love now.  My family attended a Bible retreat in Yosemite during the summer for several years.   Later, Bryan and I honeymooned here.  I love the beauty and majesty of the waterfalls, rock formations, the biggest trees EVER and the lazy Merced River. One summer, I climbed Half Dome which is probably still my greatest physical achievement next to giving birth 3 times!
• Harding Park- Searcy, Arkansas - This is my favorite place simply because this is where Bryan and I fell in love.  Neither of us had a car in college, so we walked around Harding Park to spend time together.  Over the many miles that we circled the park, we bonded and decided that each other was “the one.”  This is also where he proposed marriage…under the big tree in the middle.
• My bed- I love to read in bed lying flat on my back.  This has been my comfort position for as long as I can remember.  I also like to take naps here along with cuddling with my kids and husband.
• My Grandparents House- Brownwood, TX -  This one is bittersweet for me since they moved this past weekend!  But, their home at 1718 Brooks has always been a refuge of love and acceptance for me.  My Granny’s bright good mornings, delicious hugs and deep conversations have been a touchstone in my life.  I also love digging through her numerous treasures -old photo albums, memory boxes, jewelry, my mother’s wedding dress-and listen to the stories that go along with them.
• Coconut Grove Beach Resort - Elmina, Ghana - I’m glad that I have a favorite place in Africa.  This resort is on the Atlantic Ocean which is very different from the Pacific that I grew up around.  It’s rough, powerful and gray- it commands respect.  We have spent many family vacations and team retreats here over the past 7 years.   It’s where my boys have fallen in love with ocean and that makes me happy.  But it’s the quiet moments at night listening to the waves crash and gazing at the stars with Bryan and praying that clinch it’s position on this list.

I’m sure that I could think of some more, but I think the longer the list gets the more diluted my emotions would be toward them.  They are lots of beautiful places and people that I’ve been blessed with in my life.  Thank you Lord for them all!!!

Under House Arrest

I’m writing this post from a funky state of mind. I’ve been cooped up in the house since Thursday. It’s been raining again, so not much outside play time for the boys. Bryan’s been serving as an ambulance driver, so no transportation for me. Owen came down with a fever and hasn’t sleep well for two nights. Bryan accidentally spilled water on our laptop and damaged the audio, so no more calling “home” on Skype. Our septic tanks are in need of repair (long story), so when it rains our house smells like sewage. Whiny kids. Irritable me. I’ve been stuck.

This has actually happened numerous times during our time in Togo. So, often that I’ve noticed a distinct pattern in my behavior. First, there’s the adjustment period…sadness that I won’t get to do what I’ve planned….thinking up other plans for my time. Second, I always seem to choose to reorganize some area in my house. This time I chose the guest room/craft room. I mercilessly threw out markers, papers, and other trinkets or gave them to Abla. (I think she secretly loves it when I’m in these moods.) I also play a lot of video games with all three boys crowded around me. This can be a major source of entertainment around our house. However, an unfortunate side-effect is that when I close my eyes at night I see Yoshi hopping around a magical world. Thirdly, I start to get depressed, I’ve traveled this road enough times to understand how it works. I get angry inside that I can’t “do anything” or “go anywhere” and simultaneously I somehow loose the energy to “do anything” or “go anywhere.” The result is that I feel trapped. It’s at this point that I must make myself get out of the house!! (This dilemma in compounded by the fact that in Kara, Togo there’s really NOT much to do or see. In this state of mind, why would I want to take a walk around my neighborhood and be harassed?) It’s difficult to describe the enormous amount of effort that this simple act takes for me. Even as I write this, I still haven’t left the house. I know it’s something that I need to do, but I haven’t done it…yet.