The Long Good-bye, Part 1

Most of you already know that our family is planning to return to the US after this term in Togo. What you may not know is what it takes to say the long good-bye. Actually, I don’t know all of it myself. We are just starting out on this journey. We still don’t know when we are leaving Togo. We are deciding between May 2008 and May 2009. A whole year! We’ve given ourselves the deadline of this May to make the decision.

I’d like to blog about this topic from time to time since it’s a major transition in our lives. Please remember, that this is strictly from my perspective. I understand that many others have opinions and feelings about this too. Feel free to share what you are thinking or just ignore these posts.

Bryan and I talk about “the move” daily on some level. Sometimes it’s just a shrug and “Who knows what we will do in America? Only God knows.” Other times, it’s a two hour long deep discussion filled with tears each trying to understand the other’s viewpoint and calling. When we talk with the boys about it they are filled with questions like, “Will I ever see Elijah again?” or “Can we live in a city with Chuck E. Cheese?” and “Who will be my friend?” It strikes me as funny because these are some of the same questions that I am asking God. “Will I lose my close friendships with my teammates?” or “Can I live in a city with a nice park and YMCA?” and “Will I find my place in America?”

We recently informed our four workers that we will not be living in Togo much longer. Each of them took it relatively well. However, a few days later, they wanted to meet with Bryan. He was sorta dreading what the meeting would be about. It turned out they wanted to thank him for telling them so far in advance that we would be leaving. Allowing them time to find other work. They also wanted to ask us to not forget them after we moved. Bryan and I talked for a long time about what each person has meant to our family and how we love each of them so much. They have been involved in our daily lives for 6 years.

Bryan has been talking with the village church leaders too about our move. He has been met with encouragement to stay “just a little bit longer” from some. But, mostly with understanding and appreciation for our time here.

It’s starting to settle in that we are really leaving and it’s starting to hurt and we still have a long way to go….

Prayer Request Update

Jan. 27 - I have an appointment with a visiting US surgeon at the Baptist Hospital in Tsiko on Monday. I am going to have a procedure to remove a few cysts on my scalp. Bryan, Graham and Owen are traveling with me and Isaac is staying with the Reeves family so he can go to school.

Anyway, I have no idea what to expect from this surgery. I imagine it will be minor and not a big deal, but since I haven’t discussed it with the doctor, I really have no clue. Please keep me in your prayers that I won’t let my imagination run wild. Keep all of us in your prayers as we travel. Thank you!

Jan. 29 - We made it safely home after only one night away! My little surgery went very well and I am thankful for you prayers. It turned out to be no big deal for which I am relieved! We became acquainted with the doctor and his family during our brief stay. Their son, Sean and Graham made fast friends and enjoyed swimming in the pool together. Isaac did great as a guest in the Reeves home. Thanks again!

Sweet Baby

Taegan Faye Frazier was born to my sister, Amanda, and her husband Jason on January 19th. This is their first child! The entire family is rejoicing at her safe arrival. Praise God for bringing this precious new life into His world. Congratulations Mandy & Jason!!!

Last Sunday

We had the blessing of visiting the PoWayi congregation for worship. It was an out of the ordinary experience for me for many reasons. First of all, only three adults showed up! Graham asked me if we would have church with so few people. I immediately thought of Matthew 18:20. The Lord is with us even if it’s only a few. It’s always worth it to worship Him.

It was also the day that Bryan taught a lesson on Jesus washing the disciples feet. It was a joy to watch my husband bend down on his knees and minister to these people by washing their feet. I asked Bryan later what they were saying as he washed their feet since I couldn’t understand Kabiye. He said they were talking about how dirty their feet were and how they get so many injuries from walking in flip-flops. I guess they were a little bit shy about the condition of their feet. But, they still allowed Bryan to wash them! What a great example of humility and accepting grace.

I love the picture of Owen standing right next to him taking it all in. It hit me that if we want our children to serve others then they must see us serving others on a regular basis not just hearing us talk about it. I’ll hold this picture in my mind as a reminder for a long time.

This was also our teacher, Rachel’s, first village visit. I love being with people when it’s their first time because everything is fresh again to me. She did a great job even with lots of chickens around!!

Blessing to you!!!

Just thinking…

My thoughts and emotions have been all over the place this week! We are joyfully helping our new teammates get settled in to life in Togo. They are doing an amazing job adjusting! The Emersons are thrilled to finally be here. (It’s taken them 3 years from invitation to join our team, raising support, and language school to arrive in Africa.) As with any transition there are unexpected bumps along the way. I’m discovering that even though culture shock is behind me those old feelings crop up as I watch them adjust. I am trying to find the balance between overwhelming them with, “When I was in culture shock..” stories and encouraging them by sharing similar experiences. It’s a fine line, I’m learning!

I’ve also been effected by learning of a fellow missionary’s death, Adam Langford, by truck accident. He was good friends with my in-laws, Ben and Jen Ries and Andrew Ries. So, I’m hurting for them and Adam’s family. And yet, I know that Adam is with Jesus and I can only imagine how wonderful he must feel to know Love completely!

School is also back in session after a nice, long holiday break. It been lots of fun to be back in the classroom with Elijah and Graham. They are learning to read a little bit better each day. I am amazed at their abilities to absorb and use new information! Teaching this year has been the best teaching experience I’ve had by far!!

But, best of all the top emotion I’ve had this week is one of being incredibly blessed! I love the times when I see and feel the good through difficult situations. (For those of you who know me, you know that I’m not little miss sunshine!) I am thankful for my fellow missionaries all over the world who serve in tough places. I am thankful for my houseworker, Abla, who works like she’s working for the Lord himself. I am thankful for all of the wonderful care packages that have arrived over the last couple of months. I am thankful for Bryan and his tender love towards me daily. I am thankful for my three sons for their energy, bright minds and loving hearts. I am thankful for my God who loves me with an everlasting love and promises that He will never forsake me.

Yeeeehaw!

Our little cowboy and his buddies had a fun time today at the party! We rented a donkey for the fete. All it did was eat grass, but it was gentle enough for the kids to sit on and pose for pictures. Despite lots of prep discussion, Owen thought the donkey was actually a gift. He woke up from his afternoon nap asking, “Where’s my donkey?”

I tried my best to make a horse shaped cake. I used marshmallow creme instead of frosting (long story!). I wouldn’t recommend it….very sticky!

Owen got a new shirt, a Larry-boy dvd and a big bouncy ball. He loved all of his gifts. The cutest part though was watching Gabe sit next to him and pump his fists into the air each time a gift was opened. What a sweet friend!

Thanks for all of the birthday calls and wishes for Owen!

Birthday Boy

Owen is three!!! He got a Spiderman costume for his birthday and I’ve never seen him so happy with a gift! He was trembling with excitement! Here is one of his amazing moves as Spiderman!

On his actual birthday, January 12, we had a little family party. He opened his gifts from his grandparents and us. Tomorrow, we are celebrating with his team friends with a horse themed party. We’ve rented a donkey for the morning for the kids ride. We’ll see how that goes!

I love my little James Owen, his energy, sense of humor and sweet hugs! I’m looking forward to watching him grow this year!

The Buzz in My Brain

It’s early and I can’t sleep. There’s a constant assault of thoughts that require my attention. I’m thinking about how wonderful it is that our teammates, Brett and April Emerson, are finally in Togo!! They started out about 2 years ago to join our team. God has been preparing them and us for this moment in time. It is simply an encouragement to be in the same room with their family!

I’ve been praying that God would help me to serve them any way that they need. However, I was gently reminded by Him that it’s not up to me to make their transition painless or perfect. Thank you, Lord! How silly and prideful I am to think that it’s all up to me anyway!

Our new teacher, Rachel Phillips, arrived at the same time as the Emersons. What an answer to prayer she is! I am thrilled that she is here to teach along side me. She is eager to use her skills and serve God by serving our children.

During our devotional time last night, Dave shared some thoughts on the importance of praying boldly to God. After his talk, we prayed for a long time. I really needed that quiet time before the Lord. I’ve been so busy this week getting ready for our teammates’ arrival that I haven’t been still much. I was convicted during the prayer time to communicate God’s great love more boldly to Isaac. I’m not sure why exactly, but the message was pretty clear. So, I’ve been thinking about how to go about that….I’m wondering if the key isn’t passion?

My baby turns three on Friday! Is it possible that he’s that old already? I’m both excited about this milestone and wishing he would stay small a little bit longer. On the practical side, I’m ready for him to be completely potty trained!! He now hides when he needs to poop. I’ve never had the experience of training my kids to use the potty in a short amount of time. It seems to take my boys forever to make up their minds!!!

I’m also thinking about precious friends. I talked for over an hour with my former teammate, Jane Neal, a few days ago. It was wonderful to catch up with her. Although, it makes my heartache that we are no longer involved in each others daily lives. I miss my sisters a lot too right now. My youngest sister, Mandy, will be having her first child any day now!! I would love to be with her during this special time.

Well, now it’s not so early anymore. The rest of the family will be waking up soon wanting breakfast. May God give me strength to make it through today on a low battery!

The Great Divorce

No, it’s not the divorce of Prince Charles and Princess Diana. It’s not the divorce of Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman or Ryan Phillipe and Reese Witherspoon. It’s not even people.

It’s the divorce between Heaven and Hell.

It’s the idea behind the fantasy, The Great Divorce by C.S. Lewis. Heaven and Hell are completely opposite from each other. Even more importantly, the choices and attitudes we have today are effecting our eternity. (Actually, our eternity is now!)

The story begins with the main character in a dreary town waiting at a bus stop. He, along with other passengers board the bus and travel to a great plain. It’s here that they meet with people from their past that are in “heaven”. Through these conversations, the reader gets to know the characters and their past lives. Most of them are so tied up in their sins and selves to release them for heaven. Their sin has become their identity.

One of the conversations between a mother and her brother impacted me greatly. The woman is unforgiving toward God for her son’s early death. She is angry and defiant. She wants God to admit he’s wrong and give her son back. However, her son is already in heaven waiting for her to arrive! She can’t understand why he can’t visit her on the great plain. Her brother, patiently explains that she can go to her son if she can surrender the need to be “god” to him. She struggles greatly with this idea. She says motherhood is the greatest love in the world, mothers and children need each other, etc. It was hard to read this because I too agree that being a mom is a high calling. God placed my children with me for a reason and I intend to do right by them. However, the fault in this reasoning is exalting even a God-given role to something that takes His place in our children’s lives. It was an eye-opener for me to see how this good instinct can be misused and turned into something very dangerous.

I’ve sorta been on a C.S. Lewis kick since August. First, I read a thick C.S. Lewis anthology. Next, I reread Mere Christianity. Then, The Great Divorce. I’m in the middle of A Grief Observed. After that, I’m going to tackle Miracles. I’m having fun delving into this great Christain writers life and literature!

What have you read lately that has impacted you spiritually?

Bonne Annee 2007!

Happy New Year 2007! I’m a little late with my wishes because we’ve been on the road! We had a great trip to Burkina Faso the country just north of Togo. We enjoyed a couple of days in Ouagadogou, the capital city. Fun things included a nice haircut by a French woman for me, we all went out for pizza and ice cream and the kids played at the African equivalent of Disneyland!! (I’ll post pictures of that soon…)

But, the best part of all was reuniting with our missionary colleagues in Dano. The Chankin, Carter and Johnson families have all had new babies since we saw them last. It was so much fun getting to know the new little ones. The Dano families extended amazing hospitality to us and the Reeveses. We actually had a get-together every day with great food and fellowship! One night on the way home our boys were talking about how many parties there were…Isaac said,”I don’t call that a party, I call that a wack- down!!!” We all had a good laugh over that comment!

The photos above are of the New Year’s Eve fireworks celebration! The sparklers were a big hit with the boys. However, the bombs were an even BIGGER hit! (Andy Johnson had bought these fireworks that he thought were one type, but they turned out to be little bombs. The explosions sent us all screaming and shaking. Oh my!)

We are back home now awaiting the arrival of our new teammates, Brett, April & Caden Emerson, and our new 3rd grade teacher, Rachel Philips. I hope you all have a wonderful month of January!

What did you do for New Year’s Eve?