It’s been awhile since I’ve posted, but I have a very good reason!! I’m pregnant and I’ve been sick with nausea every day for the past month. (I’m due Jan. 29th) I was never this sick with my previous pregnancies! I’m just now starting to turn a corner and feel the energy to write on my blog. I also have job as a teacher’s assistant for the upcoming school year. I am very excited to work at the same school where Graham and Owen attend. Please continue to pray for Bryan as he attends school full time. He’s been such a huge help around the house during my sickness. He’s got a lot on his plate these days. Much love, T
Our family has been on an incredible re-entry journey this past year! Many of the bumps in the road were expected, but many were not foreseen. God has continued to bless us through it all.
We have encountered our biggest struggles in the job market. Where do we want to work? Who will hire us? Etc. This has been especially true for Bryan. After many conversations with mentors, family, and friends he has enrolled in a 13 week Certificate in Accountancy program at Lipscomb University. This will enable him to have a skill set that is desired and easily recognized. Hopefully, he will secure an entry-level accounting position this fall and begin to study for the CPA exam. We are still living in a tight financial position and ask for your prayers as we “hang-on” a little bit longer. Please pray for our family’s strength, endurance and spirits as he tackles this new direction.
The Ries boys have been very busy lately! Here are some photos of their activities.
Graham chose Steve McNair as his historical figure to research and present at the Living History Museum.
Isaac and a few of his Bucanneers teammates.
Owen and one of his soccer buddies.
My three athletic sons!
Isaac made the A/B Honor Roll for the school year!
Graham at his desk during the year end party.
This week I have been amazed at God grace towards me. It’s an understatement to say that I’ve been in a rut lately in my spiritual life. I’ve allowed myself to sink into self-pity and that’s never a pretty place to wallow. Even though I could objectively look at myself and tell myself, Tracey, this is what you are doing and it’s ugly. I couldn’t or wouldn’t get out until something inside me changed. I wanted to change – to a better version of myself – yet I felt paralyzed. As I was reflecting on my inner attitude this week, I felt the Spirit of God leading me down a thought path that has brought me healing. I’d like to share it with you.
For awhile now, I’ve been concentrating on being grateful. This heart attitude has been difficult enough in and of itself. As many of you know, we are not in the best financial situation right now. However, God has not allowed us to go hungry or naked. I am grateful for his faithfulness. But, just being thankful was not getting me out of my funk. Something else was at work and I couldn’t figure it out. Then I started thinking about being vulnerable with God and asking Him what was the matter with me. His answer both surprised and humbled me.
I am very uncomfortable being in a needy position. Yet, on the other hand, I genuinely love serving other people who are needy. It was revealed to me my hypocrisy: I pride myself on my ability to relate to and accept all kinds of people, but I am unwilling to accept myself when I am in the identical spot. That lead me to question whether I really accept others or do I simply enjoy helping from my position of security? Or is it something deeper yet?…I believe God is asking me accept myself and to fully depend on my identity in Christ for ALL.
For me, the insight has caused me to reflect on Jesus’ life on Earth. Anytime, I’m dealing with something difficult, I always wonder, “When did Jesus face this? How did he handle it?”
This time the answer is simple. He was poor his entire earthly life by choice. He could’ve chosen any lifestyle, but wanted to be poor! The exact opposite of my feelings.
I’ve claimed to be a follower of His for nearly all of my life, but I’ve never really followed Him into poverty before. Not real poverty. (We made the decision to get rid of our credit cards several months ago. Many of you will praise that decision, but it leaves me feeling that there’s no safety net. I’ve never felt this way before – wondering what will happen when the savings run out. We are on a strict budget -no extras-and we think we can make it through July at this rate. I’m not sharing this with you for sympathy, but for you to get a clear picture of what we are currently dealing with.) I am following Jesus with my heart and eyes wide-open now. I am so excited to learn more about His heart and what is truly important to Him. If being poor was good enough for Jesus, who am I?
The boys and I traveled to Jackson to meet up with Jenny and family on Friday evening. Then we caravanned to Searcy on Saturday to watch my little brother, Matt, graduate from Harding University. We were only in Searcy for a few hours, but we were able to squeeze in visits with my step-family, dad and a few of my aunts and uncles. Here are some pictures.
Cousins : Isaac, Graham, Owen, Kate & Andrew
The McCormick Kids: Me, Matt, Dad, Jenny and Ruth (We missed you Amanda!)
A close-up of little Ruth! She's already 10 weeks old.
Here’s the link to the Tennessean article.
Life has an interesting way of unfolding sometimes. I never expected that after nearly a year in the States that Bryan (or I) would not be fully employed. This has been one of the biggest times of testing in my life. “God are you really going to provide?” I’m struggling with feeling like our family is “damaged goods”. “Jesus, I am trying to keep in focus your sacrifice and love for me.” Rejection hurts, the real and imagined ones. “Holy Spirt, fill me with your fruits so that I can see the blessings instead of the negatives.”
Then, this week Bryan was contacted by Lipscomb’s media relations department. A reporter from the Tennessean had contacted them asking if they knew of anyone who had a master’s degree and was working retail during these tough economic times. Bryan’s name was suggested and the next thing he knew the reporter interviewed him by phone. Tonight, he’s working at Home Depot and a photographer from the newspaper is coming by to take photos of him on the job. See what I mean about poster child?
Last Friday and today I substituted in an 8th grade classroom. It was an easy first experience due to the fact that there was a student teacher actually doing the teaching. I simply monitored the students doing their work. I hope that this is the beginning of more calls to sub until I can find something full-time next year.
It was fun to listening in and watching the students’ interactions. It took me back to my own 8th grade year at Emerald Jr. High in El Cajon, CA. The kids are even starting to wear the 80s style clothing and neon colors. I secretly want to beg them to pleeeaasse stop the fashion insanity! Fortunately I didn’t see any big bangs. My fondest memory from 8th grade is performing in the talent show. Three friends and I choreographed a routine to a 1950s medley. Do you remember your 8th grade year? Share a memory. I’d love to hear all about it.
Here’s a recent dialogue between my 5 year old and myself.
Owen: (Holding a brightly colored candy) Mom, can I have this lollipop?
Me: No, honey you’ve already had enough Easter candy for today.
Owen: OK, then can I have a, uh, sucker?
Me: No, like I said, enough candy.
Owen: (Thoughtfully) Well, then can I have a round piece of candy with a stick in it?
Me: Sweetie, no matter you call it, you can’t have it. Sorry kid.
Owen: Oh man!!!
I’ve learned this week that more people read my facebook status than my blog! I’ve had more concern from friends over “Tracey McCormick Ries is having a low day” than I’ve had in a long time. The sad fact is that probably 50% of my days lately could have that status. I’ve just chosen to overlook it and put something “happier” in that blank space.
Anyway, I appreciate the interest from everyone, but it’s hard for me to talk about some of the feelings I’ve been having. It’s easier for me write them out. So, here it goes…another way I’m having a hard time with reentry.
Do any of you watch the TV show Lost? During last week’s episode I turned to Bryan and said, “That’s us!” The original Oceanic passengers are on the island with the original Dharma Initiative and they are just not fitting in. The Dharma folks are taking some things so seriously and the Oceanic guys just don’t get it. You can see by the expressions on their faces that they are thinking, “Why is that a big deal?” And yet, the consequence for one wrong move is death! That’s how I feel under it all these days. (Maybe not death, but you get the point.)
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